Stressed? Spare the Cookies!

Stress! Let’s admit times are rough. Families are hurting. The virus, the riots, the loss of jobs, the quarantine, the deaths, the missed special events like graduations and birthdays all contribute to a lot of heart ache. Regular life is stressful – add the past 6 months – and the emotional well-being of many is taking a hit. There is a lot to grieve.

To get through this time well – we need to make sure we have a plan for self-care. Self-care is what you intentionally do to take care of your emotional and physical well-being. It helps you reset, refresh, and relax amidst the storms around you. It is important to do all the time, but even more critically important in the rough times.

Self-care is not being selfish and neglecting the world around you, but rather refueling yourself so that you are better able to care for yourself and the others around you. Self-care is doing something that brings you calmness, renewed energy, joy, and helps you decompress. It’s a planned moment to look forward to.

I take care of a lot of people – between family, clients, and friends – I find I am frequently helping, giving, and trying to protect others from crashing and burning. In that, especially as a mom, I feel like I don’t have the time to do things for myself.

I forget how important self-care is for all of us, including me. A week or so ago, I found myself in a funk. I lost my motivation. I didn’t want to do much beyond work. I just sat around, watched some mindless movies, let the dishes pile up, and ate a box of cookies. I was tired. After a day or two of this, I realized I was a little burned out.

If we don’t refill our emotional tank – it eventually runs out. Mindless movies and cookies don’t really replenish my tank. They just fill my idle time. But, sitting out on my nicely finished deck and reading a good book, taking a walk on the beach, or playing a board game with my kids gives me energy and joy.

Take a look at your calendar. Where is your next planned moment for you? Don’t have one? Well, that’s a problem!

The 2019 Stress in America survey compared 2019 to 2020 and it shows stress is significantly higher for adults, and even higher for those who are parents. Things are getting more stressful!

If we want to get through this season well – we need to take care of ourselves. That includes the basics we hear about like a regular routine, good self, healthy diet, and some exercise. But in addition to that, self-care needs to be a regular part of our lives. Self-care touches on 4 different life domains – physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. Make sure you are doing intentional things to nurture these areas and model your self-care for your kids.

Self-care includes doing activities that you enjoy, not things that are fun but stress you out. Make a list on your phone of activities from simple things like a hobby, journaling, or walking the beach, to big things like planning trips, going on a retreat, or doing things on your bucket list. A few times each week make sure you have built in a few moments of these life-giving, energy boosting activities.

Self-care includes being able to set boundaries to protect yourself like – Choosing to not check emails or be on your smart phone during certain time periods of time or once in bed. Choosing to not continue or engage in certain relationships that drag you down, drain your energy, or leave you feeling used or abused, whether it’s face-to-face or on social media. Choosing to say no even to some good things – because they don’t fit with your time, interests, gifts, or talents.

Self-care includes getting to know yourself better, reflecting on where you are at in life, and where you would like to be, and taking steps towards growth and making that happen. Small and purposeful efforts that help develop your gifts, talents, dreams, and purpose all contribute to living a fulfilled life.

There are a lot of hard things going on in life right now. It is stressful for almost everyone. Remember it’s okay to grieve the losses, be kind to yourself and to others, and make sure you take care of yourself so that you are better able to care for those you love!

In the weeks ahead – stay tuned for ways to help improve the lives of your kids. Some of you have mentioned wanting to learn more about how to help your kids. So, I’m working on a page filled with parenting/educator tips and strategies to help grow our kids in healthy ways. If you have ideas or questions related to growth for you or your kids please feel free to email me ideas or post on my Facebook business page Sherri McClurg, PsyD