You’ve Got To Be Kidding!

The first truly extreme hardship I had to experience as an adult was the birth of my middle child. He is profoundly handicapped. The reality of so many hopes and dreams being shattered was hard to adjust to. Plus, learning how to care for a child who will be dependent on you for the rest of their life is a lot. It shattered our hearts, but giving up was not an option for us, so each new day was a lesson in grieving, letting go, and learning anew.  

Then, came the diagnosis for another family member, a progressive, un-treatable, auto-immune disorder. It seemed like too much to bear, but once again we had to let go and work at taking one step at a time. As the saying goes, we can become better or we can become bitter. We are choosing better.

One would hope for a reprieve as we were dealing with all that but sadly, our family experienced a horrific tragedy last year. My in-laws were abducted from their home. One was brutally killed and the other barely survived and is now in our care. It has been overwhelming and difficult. But we are learning and figuring out how to move forward. It’s been almost a year since then. I’d like to say things have gotten easier, but not really. I have days where I just wish Jesus would call us all home. But, he hasn’t yet, so we just keep taking one step at a time.

We’ve been grieving, coping, and trying to find our footing. “You’ve got to be kidding,” is the response we get from friends when they hear yet again another hardship has befallen us. It’s a lot to bear and still try to do daily life. It would be easy to throw in the towel, give up, or hide under the covers. Trust me I’ve tried, but the kids always find me. I’m learning I can’t protect the one’s I love from hurting. As much as I want to, it’s just not possible. But I’m walking alongside the one’s I love, walking through pain with them, and helping them move forward. Together we are growing. 

God placed a passion in my life for helping others and helping them grow. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology and have spent years training with the John Maxwell team on personal growth and leadership. Knowing that I believe in a God I can fully trust, plus having those training experiences he placed in my life, has helped me stay the course. This life is brutal at times, but I know God is not finished. 

My passion is still the same. I want to be the best version of me that I can be and keep getting better. I want to help others to do the same. Some days, I’m not so great, but I’m getting better one day at a time. One of my favorite John Maxwell books is The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. One of those laws is the Law of Pain. John says, “It’s difficult to meet the negative experience in the moment with a positive mind-set. However, if you can do that, you will always be able to learn something from it… Facing difficulties is inevitable. Learning from them is optional.” When we stop learning, we stop growing. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually we get stuck. What we choose to do with the difficulties in our lives shapes and influences our future. 

How about you? Are you experiencing some tough breaks? Do you feel discouraged, stuck, or unable to get moving? Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. It’s okay to be overwhelmed and just hide under the covers for a little bit. We are all broken and live in a broken world. You might have to endure a season of hardships at no fault of your own and beyond your control, but you do get to determine what perspective you take. 

You get to decide where you place your focus and hold your mindset. Whether you are struggling at home, at work, or any area of your life – you can focus on growth and becoming the best version of yourself. Let go of the past, and get through the present one step at a time. And while you take that next step, look for ways to grow. Choose growth. God’s not done with you yet. Your life is a masterpiece still being created.

One way you can grow is complete a John Maxwell DISC personality assessment with me and learn about your personality and communication strengths and growth areas. I know it has certainly helped me.